Authors Note: I know I said two chapters by Wednesday- but honestly I think I'm overcompensating a little bit. I can't remember if I said it anywhere else yet- but I have a job! A real teaching job! With people! In a physical place! Crazy, right? But yeah- as August is rapidly approaching, I will find my spare time increasingly shrinking. That will not stop me though! So here's the chapter for Wednesday, 3.8 will follow on Sunday! Okay- so where were we again? Oh yeah. You. Where's my vampire spray? 100% Garlic based. Shoo. Shoo Vampire. Geez Bernie, what ties do you have and can you get me Broadway tickets? "GAH! Dad! Dad! Dad! Therewasamosterunderthebed!!IknowIsawit!Itwasgreyandcreepyand-" "Okay, okay- calm down buddy. I'm awake anyway what with all the uninvited guests tonight. Let's go take care of it." I think I'm more terrified of that garbage pile. What do I pay the maid for? "Okay buddy, there you go. Wait a minute? Isn't this Mira's room? Why are you in here?" "Mira wanted to switch tonight so she could study Bernie- apparently he's up to something suspicious." ".....I'm too tired to question that. Get some sleep little man- we've both got school and work in the morning." Sounds like a plan to me. Ah the Scouts. Nothing teaches responsibility and respect for others in the community quite like the Scouts. What made you want to be a scout Matthias? "I get free cookies!" Excellent. Huh. I didn't know you could scrub woodchips. I stand corrected. Well what about you Miranda? No scouts for you? "Nah. I don't need Scouts. I'm already in the chess club, the science club, Junior Debate Team and I'm working on my campain for Elementary Class President." Wow. No wonder you're always busy. "Always." FINALLY! It only took you until well into your adult years- but you finally mastered your first skill. You know your mother mastered three right? "I've had a lot on my plate." Whatever helps you sleep at night. I think you need to take some ambition lessons from your daughter. "Who's a fluffy, possibly illegal hamster? You are!" Wow. You're giving me Summer Viridi levels of pet worship. "Amd then he said- I was looking for my SHADES! Hahahahaha! Get it- SHADES!?" "That's pretty funny Matty. I should use that in my class speech." "You gotta pay for the rights." Eek. I know I overfocus on Matthias sometimes- but damn. He's just so freaking sweet. "Shhhhh. Teddy- We'll find that anethesia." I thought you wanted to be a firefighter? "Nah. Now I'm thinking Doctor- OH! Or a Vet!" Awwwwwww. I can't with you. I'm done. Ummmmm. Hellooooo? You do know what tomorrow is- right? "Thursday?" .....No. It's Harvestfest! And you still haven't dismantled your Halloween decor. Come on man- don't be that tacky neighbor who leaves their Christmas Decor out in July." "CRAP. I forgot all about Harvestfest! My mom would kill me." Yes. Yes she would. "I know what to do. I will plan the GRANDEST OF MEALS. A meal to outshine all meals." I like it. Very dramatic. "But Daddy- you can't cook. That's why we always have cake." "That's besides the point princess- now's a good as time to any to learn." "Okay Dad. Whatever you say- why don't we start planning?" "We will. Right after this free throw." Oh jeez. Yay! It's Harvestfest! You know me- any excuse to redecorate! "Aaaaaand checkmate. Gotcha Dad!" "What the- how did you- I give in baby girl. You are the top ranked chess player in the house." "I know." And modest too. Hahahaha- she reminds me of Scarlet. *INSERT OMINOUS NOISE* Did you forget to pay your bills? How did you forget to pay the bills? "In my defense- I have had a lot going on lately." Okay fine- just this once. But pay those bills. I need the lights on the house. They really pull my decor scheme together. "Hey Mira! Look! Gnomes!" "Ummmmm. I don't know Matty. I woudn't mess with them. I read that if you give them the wrong gift- terrible things will happen." "Oh come on Mira- what's the worst that could happen?" Famous last words my friend. "I told you so. I knew he wouldn't like decaf." "Delicious ham and cheese sandwhiches dad- whatever happened to the 'Grandest Meal of all'?" "I did have a Turkey in the oven- but then the oven broke. And also the fridge....and the blender....and all the other appliances." "How strange. It's almost like someone failed to appease a holiday gnome and he subsequently cursed the house." "Aaaaaaaaand that's my cue to leave. I'm going to the park with Leah-BYE!" Well at least we can cross electrician off our list of potential careers. Maybe Ninja will be much more lucrative. GAH! There really is something under there! Kill it with FIRE!
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About MeI am a elementary school teacher who loves bad puns and terrible movies. Archives
November 2019
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