"Hey look- that one looks like a shooting star." "But....it's daytime." "Yeah- I said it looks like a shooting star." "If you say so." Awwww. Young love. It's always nice to see a simple relationship that isn't totally weird. I miss it. "Hey Leah- Smile!" "Cheeeeeeeese!" "-and that's why my favorite thing is EXPLOSIONS. I think one day I wanna be a scientist!" "That sounds really cool!" "Well, what do you want to do?" "I don't really know. Last week it was a ninja, before that- an astronaut. Although, I was thinking maybe a vampire hunter. It seems like in my neighborhood there's really good money there." "Omigosh! I'm terrified of vampires! You weren't scared?!" "Me? Nah. I'm not scared of anything. As long as you stick with me- everything will always be AH-mazing." Please allow me to double my 'dawwwwww' from earlier. "1......2........3.......GO!" And just like that- we've raised a genius! Way to go Miranda! "Well, what do you expect? I am a genius- and head of the chess club....and the debate team....and student body president." Wow. And modest too- jk Miranda- I love you. "I know." This family is just full of achievements today! I'm loving this. I feel like we've been bogged down with the dramatics lately. It's nice to just sort of bask in normal family life for a while, I almost miss the days of Kelly. Somewhere- I'm sure she's cackling with glee. Oh geez. Saya- nooooooooooo. You're not seriously gonna go right? You made me promise to warn you next time. "I know. But she begged. It's just a bar. If I actually run into some past drama- I'll eat my shoes." There go your best loafers. "You see?? I told you everything would be great tonight- it's singles night! I told you this was a great idea. When do bad things ever happen at these things?" "Well....considering that the last two times you invited me out I managed to knock up a total stranger with twins and then the second time I had an explosive family fallout with my absentee baby mama.....soooo......the odds are not in your favor." "Fair enough. Let's get hammered." "Okay. Okay. So far so good. We've been here like ten minutes and so far you've managed to neither knock anyone up or run into terrible family drama." "Hold that thought." Does she have a tracking chip on you? "Aaaaaand that's my cue to leave." I'll go ahead and pop those loafers in the oven for you. "Okay. So that was a bust. One of these days I'm gonna hunt her down and find out if she has you lojacked. In the meantime- take two in a SEPARATE BAR in a COMPLETLEY different town. If she turns up here- I'll throw myself in the lake." "Whatever. Let's get hammered." "And how." "Oh damn- I am so sorry- did I spill on your dress?!" "Oh no- it's okay. I'm great!" "That's a really interesting outfit." "Ummmmmm. My best friend dragged me here. He told me it was a costume party so I grabbed my cosplay outfit and didn't think to question it. Yeah. I usually never come to these things. " "I know that feeling." "So you work in business?" "That's right- I'm an investment banker over at Landgraab Financial." "No WAY! I work there- I'm in the billing department!" "Never doubt me or my methods. Should I leave you two alone........" "Can it Saya." "I get it- Peace!" Hmmmmmmm. Things are quiet. Too quiet. I know I didn't miss the drama, but I feel like it's overdue. What is going on? Uh. Oh. Did you hear that ominous musical sting? Oh no! Poor Arlo! At least he lived a good life- especially with the money I spent on vet bills. Farewell Sweet Puppy, parting is such sweet sorrow. Et tu, Bernie? At least someone knows how to handle tradgedy. Leave me. I have to go buy more tissues. I used all my last supply watching 'This is Us'.
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About MeI am a elementary school teacher who loves bad puns and terrible movies. Archives
November 2019
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