PAOLA! There you are. You simple, zen, quiet child you. "Cupcakes." I know. They're great. Let's take a look at what you've been up to. You gained the 'outgoing' trait. I guess you're the outgoing spirit of few words. "...and that's how I'm planning to get to Europe with the power of 1980's Dance trends." "Neat." "I know. Then after that my friend Alice and I are planning on reversing Brexit with a hostile Takeover. I don't think any of that connects. "Cool." "What don't you seem more impressed?! I put a lot of thought into this! Say something!" "Sorry." "UGH. THIS IS YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW." "Girls. Girls. Let's all take a deep breath. Work on that emotional control. 1....2.....3...." "Mediation." "Exactly! That's my girl. Find your zen." "This is stupid." "Life is for LIVING Paola. You can't be so zen ALL the time. EMOTE." "......cool." "UGH." "And a little glitter here, and a few googly eyes there- and soon we'll have a piece worthy of the Masters." Uhhhh. Let's get out the house before your mother has a heart attack. She's still recovering from the school projects from last week. "WHY WOULD YOU NEED AN ALLEN WRENCH FOR A SPACE DIORAMA? WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING THESE DAYS? WHERE IS PLUTO?!" Someone's going to have to break the news to her. "Not me." "Not me." "I'll do it!" I'm sure you will Scarlet. "Wooo! I'm the Dictator of the Jungle Gym!" Meh. Who am I to judge? "Check and mate! Take that Kieren!" Losing to a nine year old. This is why you have so many malpractice suits Kieren. That's my girl Scarlet! Ten years old and already more accomplished than your mother! Let's see where our girl is before entering the wide world that is adolesence. That's terrifying. Scarlet is scary enough without adding teenage hormones and lack of empathy to everything else. Miss Scarlet has gained the 'bookworm' trait. Something about wanting to read 'The Art of War" for creative inspiration? I don't know. I wonder what Kelly and Squarechin are up to? Well, well well. You're practically a captain of industry. An innovator if you will. Too bad that doesn't carry over to her fashion sense. You know what they say- dress for the job you want, not the job you have. In Kelly's case I think that means.....vampire army dominatrix? And Paolo......well I don't know what that is but I'm just going to leave this here. So much for Powerhouse. I think everyone else is dead. So much for the healthy lifestyle. "Yay! Now I don't have to go back!" Well as long as you have your priorities in order. "Fishies Scarlet. Fishies!" "Yeah. That's right Summer. And when you catch enough of them their new home is being frozen and stuffed into bags for sale to greedy consumers." Geez Scarlet. You've really taken to this whole 'angst' thing haven't you? "I'm just...feeling so many things! And I hate EVERYONE so much." Yep. That's teenhood for you. "I need other people to FEEL MY PAIN." Oh my god- with sharps like that, I think they'll be feeling pain in every sense of the word. What does this remind me of? Oh thank God- you stopped. I mean- Ah man, why did you stop? You were getting sooo.....good. "That blonde bimbo is stealing my limelight. I was here FIRST." This is doing nothing for your emotional control skills. "Excuse me?" "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the international SUCKFEST was in town." "I'm not the one who sounds like a dying llama screeching Mozart." Oh snap. "Oh yeah! Well...you....you're a....a baby!" "Whatever kid- get off my corner." Sorry Miss Scarlet, I guess you need some more experience before you starting picking fights in the street. "I hate everyone."
You'll grow out of it I promise.
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About MeI am a elementary school teacher who loves bad puns and terrible movies. Archives
November 2019
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