Okay well, while you two are otherwise occupied, I guess SOMEONE should be watching you toddler. Honestly Kelly, the things I do for you. Given her mothers penchant for bathing outdoors, I really shouldn't be surprised. "Ugh. Is that bubblegum?!" No one ever said outdoor elploration was a clean business. "Oh my god- that's not mud! THAT'S NOT MUD!" Don't you love it when pregnancy tests come pre-packaged with congratulatory glitter? "It really makes the occasion much more festive." Are you sure this is the right choice Kelly? I mean, one day with a toddler and you're already scraping 'not-mud' from her hair. "Don't be such a downer, I've always wanted a huge family. Besides, having a toddler is so much fun! And if PAOLO of all people can handle Scarlet for a day, I'm sure I can. Famous last words my friend. "Okay baby, that's hour three of Dolls- how about a nap?" "NO. NO NAP. DOLLY. " "How about we just-" "NO." "I think we should put these away for just a little while...." "NO." Well I guess we know who wears the big-girl pants in this relationship. "Who there! Wrong way! WRONG WAY." "NO. SLIDE GO UP." "Honey no. We go THIS way." "NO. SLIDE. GO. UP." I could watch this all day. Scarlet makes my job so much easier. "LOTS of glitter for mommy!" Now that's just adorable. Who could be made at that? Right Kels? Kelly? You doing okay sport? Can't say I didn't warn her. "Here. Take your kid. She's glittered, climbed, or peed on every surface in the house. I need a nap." "Kelly, I potty traied her yesterday." "..........." "Awwwww, did little llamacita give mommy a hard time?" "I made glitter!" "You are just the best baby in the world." I agree. I don't know about you, but I'd give this day an A+. "Shut up. I'm having a baby. How about a little sympathy?" I'm sure it will get better. After all- toddlerhood isn't forever. "Well that's something at least." Shouldn't you be at the hospital? "What, and entrust my life in the hands of KEIRAN? After last time? No thank you, I am all about zen. And zen means finding your center, and not seeing it on the operating table." If you say so. WAnd thus we welcome Elliot Viridi to the family! Watch out kids- he's a charmer. "Awwww. Even I can't argue with that. Maybe having a little brother will mellow Scarlet a little. I mean, being a big sister is a big deal." "Brother. My Brother." Awwwww. I can't even with these two. "And that's how the three little piggies lived happily ever after and defeated the big bad wolf." See? I told you things would work out. I'm gonna check out for a while. I think you've got things on lock Mama Viridi. What? What is this? WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER? "Momma's sleepy." Oh. You can hear me. We'll have to address that at some point. Oh come on Kelly. Again? "zzzzzzzzz" KELLY. "Wah. I'm awake. I'm here. I'm PRESENT!" What the hell happened Kelly? I was gone for an hour. AN HOUR. "It's like there's six of them. Six little people all moving at once." You're hopeless- just send them to daycare. "I tried that- it was somehow more terrifying that just having them here." GAH. What is happening?! Where did they go? WHERE DID THEY GO? Well I'm glad you still have energy for SOME things. -_- "Who's a little bitty cutie?"
It's almost like you intentionally do these things to yourself. I'll see you during your next puddle nap. "Oh no- I solved that. Paolo has the terror twins. Besides, I only wanted three. After this I'm DONE." Again I say- famous last words.
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About MeI am a elementary school teacher who loves bad puns and terrible movies. Archives
November 2019
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